with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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