yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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