the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
