From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It's never too late to be topless.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize