Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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