wat bout pragnant strippers??
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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