No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
