Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
