I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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