We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize