i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Mom said you looked used
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
