you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
