dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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