if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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