I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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