I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
