I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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