I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
are you so shy because you have an std?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize