You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
