the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
