My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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