Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
