I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
