There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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