I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hippo gnu deer
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
