I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think your dad took our porno
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
