Christians are straight up FREAKS
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
