Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
