Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
