I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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