i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
