I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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