do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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