Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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