i jhust puked up my retainher.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
