Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
