I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
