Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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