I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Is Oprah even human
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
