if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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