it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
