Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions

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(925): View more from California

Wait, how do girls masturbate?

(1-925): View more from California

I dunno we use shower heads I guess.

(925): View more from California

..how does it fit?

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(646): View more from New York

How are you going to be there by 9am?

(919): View more from North Carolina

Relax I always go to these conferences hung over

(646): View more from New York

You say that like it's a positive quality

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(269): View more from Michigan

when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.

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(571): View more from Virginia

Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!

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(907): View more from Alaska

Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?

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(614): View more from Ohio

Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.

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