clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
