Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
