he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
