The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
