I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
