At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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