she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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