I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
