Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
