At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm at about main and main street
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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