This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Randomize
