i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
