Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize