so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Send help, water and tortillas.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
