He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
