It's Friday. Sex?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
