I'm lost and stupid without you.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
