i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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