my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize