I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
