We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
