Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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