bring money and cleavage
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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