I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
