Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
