dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
