I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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