is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Will exercising make me less horny?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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