I could have mohawked her pubes.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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