Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
