Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
ttyl tear gas
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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