That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
