Moan for me like Helen Keller
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
