Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize