There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
