did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize