the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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