..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
im calling her cock vulture from now on
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize