Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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