And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
